Listen to Trans People When They Speak Their Truth

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The Activist for Activists. Author of Make a Difference with Mental Health Activism and The Happy Activist: Journey the 5-Step Activism Path to Focus Your Passion and Change the World. Teacher, Psychologist, Environmental Activist, Animal Lover.

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Centering Trans Narratives

Scrolling through my Facebook feed, I realized that my Unitarian Universalist friends were up in arms about something related to the most recent edition of UU World magazine. UUs are liberal congregations, welcoming to all, no exception, and wholly committed to social justice. It was no surprise to me that my UU friends were up in arms about something; that happens regularly. But this was concern about the UUA, the central organization. Unfortunately, although centering trans narratives and supporting trans voices is critical, they published an article about trans people written by a cisgender woman. (The term cisgender means the person’s identity corresponds with the sex they were assigned at birth.)

UUWorld Magazine Article that sparked controversy.

Reader were outraged that the article, “After L, B, and G: Listening to transgender and nonbinary people is about respect, relationship, and whether we can be truly inclusive faith,” didn’t center trans narratives.

Ultimately the magazine editor issued an apology:

Our story hurt people. Acknowledging that we have fallen short, UU World is committed to sharing in appropriate and respectful ways the inspiring and powerful stories of trans and gender nonbinary people within our faith community.

Supporting Trans Voices

Nothing About Us Without Us Is for Us. –Hazel Edwards

Young person wearing eye makeup and a T-shirt that says "Love Who You Are". Trans. Hazel Edwards is an educational consultant from Philadelphia. Growing up transgender, she encountered bias and misconceptions from teachers and principals. But now she trains them to make the school system inclusive and serve transgender students.

If youth, and specifically trans youth, are not given seats at the table to be able to bring their perspectives and their experiences and the ways that they could be best supported, then the policy or the legislation or whatever the rule is will not adequately support [them]. Hazel Edwards

For example, cisgender people should not create policy for transgender people. Instead, the creation of the policy should center their voices. Cisgender people have the privilege of being heard and accepted, but that does not mean we know what is best for marginalized communities.

In another instance, Edwards reviewed a school policy that required transgender students to be ‘consistently and persistently’ living their gender identity. However, that policy gave no consideration to the students’ privacy, comfort, and safety. Edwards was able to provide feedback on the document, thus centering the trans narrative.

Allys Should Center Trans Narratives

In response to the UU World article, Transforming Hearts Collective published a guide for talking about the UU World article.

Tips for talking about the UU World article. Supporting trans voices. Center trans narratives. — Tips for talking about the UU World article

The key practices they recommend are:

Believe trans people
Listen more than you talk
Be willing to remain in discomfort
Have hard conversations, with love
Value relationships over perfectionism
Don’t expect every trans person to want to educate you, but honor those who do
Stay in your heart rather than your head
Don’t ask a trans person anything you wouldn’t ask a cis person
Comfort those who are hurting and build awareness with other cis people
Uplift trans voices

Those of us who hold privilege in the world, such as being cisgender, sometimes get exasperated when marginalized people complain about poor treatment. I believe the UU World reporter wanted to encourage a “truly inclusive faith.” But if I had read the piece without being alerted to the issues, my privilege might have stopped me from seeing that supporting trans voices is critical.

Learn more about how to be a good ally for the LGBTQ+ community.

Privilege and Fragility

I recently read the book White Fragility Why It’s So Hard For White People To Talk About Racism. Author Robin DiAngelo writes about the white supremacy culture that we must dismantle, and one part of that is to center the voices of people of color. However, our white fragility manifests itself in many ways.

Fragility is a state in which even a minimum amount of racial stress becomes intolerable, triggering a range of defensive moves. These moves include the outward display of emotions such as anger, fear, and guilt, and behaviors such as argumentation, silence, and leaving the stress-inducing situation. These behaviors, in turn, function to reinstate white racial equilibrium. – Robin DiAngelo

DiAngelo talks about good intentions, and why they are harmful. She suggests we focus on impact and forget intentions.

So, when the first key principle is ‘believe trans people,” what I think isn’t the issue. Trans people, who have lived with discrimination and little opportunity to be heard, hold the truth. Be quiet, let them speak their truth, and believe them.